wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
