There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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