Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He did a backflip because drugs
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