I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
