Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Randomize
