There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
