Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
