worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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