thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
