i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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