We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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