Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
