I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
