There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
