do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
