Are we in a gay sports bar?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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