the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
