high people should be assigned attendants
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
