I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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