next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
