She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
