A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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