You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
