He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
