there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
