I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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