I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
