So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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