I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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