I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
