I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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