well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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