I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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