Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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