already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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