guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
