im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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