i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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