I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
