just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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