with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
