so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
