New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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