I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
