oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
