Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
