I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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