hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cannot find my penis.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
