Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
