Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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