dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
