my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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