we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
